The Fountain

Well it is now late on the second day of the first cycle of high dose chemo and, while it is still very early days, everything is going very well. I've got everthing crossed that things continue that way, except my nuts... cos I've only got one. Sorry Mum, this blog is really seems to be going down hill fast, must be the chemo.
... Except that the chemo hasn't really kicked in yet...

Inspite of my best efforts to fatten up, and inspite of the 7 litres of fluid I receive as part of the chemo regime, I have dropped a couple of kilos since my last admission into hospital. It's not a big deal at this stage but it does show just how hard my body is working trying to repair itself. Need nore custard (that could be a hint).
Taking on 7 litres of fluid per day through the drip, plus whatever I drink results in a situation that looks a lot like this (sorry again mum):

 Except that I am aiming at a target that looks like this:

 Lucky I'm a good shot (but it probably depends who you ask).
Cheers, Pete.

Things that go squwark in the night

It was about 1am when she rolled up to my hospital bed again,tripping over her 5 left feet, full of fluid as usual, and carrying plenty more to share... Yes polly is back, readers who haven't met polly before might want to click here for an introduction: http://nutjobdiaries.blogspot.com.au/2013/03/a-confession.html
She is a sneaky one, taking advantage of my half awake state she innocently offered me a harmless drink.
"What's the harm in a bit of saline with a bit of magnesium and potassium in it?" she said.
"Might even be good for you" she said.
"Give your electrolytes a boost" she said
"Oh alright" I said, half in an attempt to shut her up, experience should have told me that that was never going to work.
And that was it, she had found a way in and once under my skin she knew she could move on to the harder stuff without me being able to stop her, in the course of the next few hours I would have Emend, Granisetron, Dexametasone, Lasix, Etoposide and Carboplatin all flowing through my veins.
I'm going to pay a price for that lot over the next few weeks, but the worst thing is I know she will be back again in the wee small hours to pull the exact same trick, and I will fall for it all over again. I must be getting something out of it, she keeps telling me it is for my own good, it sure doesn't feel like it but for some reason I believe her.
Cheers, Pete

It''s Thursday afternoon so we will soon be heading into the hospital for the next round of chemotherapy. On the outside I am totally cool about it all, a bit like this:

Sure doc, that's cool, go your hardest, I'm fine.

 But occasionally I just want to do this:

I haven't got to this point yet:

NOPE, not doing it, you can't make me do it.

So in the end I end up taking the bath anyway:

Which makes me feel like this:

And I might end up driving the porcelain bus a bit:

But don't worry, I plan to keep working on the blog:

In a few months I'm sure I will be back to this:

cos I don't want to miss a second of this:

For those who haven't guessed yet, I really like dogs, and in the Chinese zodiac I was born in a dog year.
Cheers, Pete.

No news is good news

Not much to report to day, but after a busy week last week it was nice to take it easy. We went up to the hospital to get my Picc line dressed this morning, then we headed to Vic market afterwards, forgot it is closed on Wednesdays, bummer. As consolation I had a spicy lamb borek for lunch, it was probably my last opportunity to eat anything spicy for months, scoffed it in short measure! Was a bit too hot for me to be out as the heat really saps my energy, so we headed home.

As you can see below I have added some coloured shadows to the bars of my daily health summary to make things a bit clearer. Colour code is pretty obvious: Green = good; Yellow = ok, but having a few issues; orange = a problem; Red = things are rough.
The 'risk of infection' category should be read a bit differently as it will always be at least yellow and it will definitely reach the red zone on numerous occasions throughout the cycle. Red does not mean I am sick, it means that I am at high risk of picking something up and getting very sick. Obviously we will do everything we can to avoid that.
Cheers, Pete.

Everything in place

Had the meeting with the psychologist today, I thought it was going well until the poor guy ran blubbering from the room. I don't think it's the first career I've ruined since all this started... The truth is that it went well, it helped me prepare for what's coming, and I have another good person on my already amazing team.

The other news from today is that my blood counts have recovered very strongly over the last couple of days. That means I will be admitted for the first cycle of high dose chemo on Thursday. It will certainly be different way to spend Easter, but the sooner we start the better, maybe they can give me an Easter egg intravenously.
I spent new years eve in hospital back in 2008, I was on the ninth floor of the hospital that night with an unobstructed view over the yarra and parklands, so I had a prime seat for the fireworks.

I'm feeling a little apprehensive about what is to come, but I really would be nuts if I didn't. I know it is going to be hard but I couldn't be in a better position to deal with it. There are several reasons for that, firstly my recovery from the last cycle of chemo has been excellent and I am feeling good physically; secondly, we have been doing this on and of for a long time now and we have built up a lot practical and emotional skills to deal with it all; thirdly, I have a first rate, highly experienced and committed medical team behind me; fourthly; I have great support from family and friends. And I have Robyn, how could I ask for more?
Cheers, Pete.

NEW BLOG FEATURE AT NO EXTRA COST!!!!*

I thought I would try something new to give readers a quick summary of how I am feeling day to day as we go through the next phase of the treatment. As you can see below things are very good at the moment:




A note for visitors:
I like visitors, they help pass the time in hospital, but there are two things I need to point out.
Firstly I really, really need to stress to everybody that they must be free of any bugs or infections of any type if they want to visit (including coughs,colds, runny noses, colds, temperatures, tummy bugs, skin infections, rashes... anything at all that might be catching).
This has been important in the past, but for what is coming up it is critical. So if you fall into any of the categories below then it is safer for me and other patients if you reschedule your visit:

• if you have got anything infectious,
• if you might be getting anything infectious,
• if you recently had anything infectious,
• if you have recently been in contact with someone else who had something infectious.

Secondly, there will be periods of time when the chemo will make me very, very tired and I can fall asleep at anytime, on some days I will probably be asleep for most of the day. Unless looking at zombies is your thing it is best to try to visit away from these times. I will try to update the graph above everyday so that everyone knows where I am at.
Cheers, Pete

People are weird, part 2

Yes people are weird, including me. Like most other people with normal parents I have been on the receiving end of injections since I was a wee chile, without ever batting an eyelid. Since all this cancer business started I have received countless injections, some of them fairly epic, again I never baulked... well maybe I grimaced a couple of times when a particularly large needle was inserted and wobbled around  for 5 minutes deep in my torn, infected and inflamed calf muscle in an unsuccsessful attempt to drain the infection, that was back in 2011. Ouch, very, very very ouch. But otherwise I'm not bovvered about needles.
However, those who have following this blog would know that when it came to giving myself an injection it was a different story, one more like this:

I initially couldn't do it, luckily the heroic Robyn was on hand to give them whilst wearing her underpants on the outside and her 'Harden the ^&**% up Princess Tshirt (I won't post a pic!). She is my everday hero, all day everyday.
But that was then, I manned up and have been giving myself injections twice a day for a couple of weeks now with no problems... and then for some unknown reason I hesitated. Bad move. I spent the next half an hour wobbling a tiny little needle 2 centimetres above my now sweaty belly while my brain tried to convince my hand that there is no problem here, at worst it is slightly uncomfortable for a few seconds, at best I barely feel it at all. Eventually it I got over it and there have been no problems since. So how did I get over it? I remembered this:
I had a nurse supervise the first injection I gave myself, she said I did a perfect job except that next time I should pinch up a little less belly fat, she then demonstrated by lifting up her shirt to expose a totally fat free belly that was in no way comparable to my 42 year old flab, the comparison could be more fairly represented like this:

I laughed then, I think about it whenever I have to give myself an injection and laugh again. Good on her.

As I write I am  following doctors advice by tucking into banana crepes with Maggie Beer's burnt fig, honeycomb and caramel icecream... and cream, all thanks to my darlin'wife, mwahh!
Time to go give myself tonight's injection, it'll be fine.
Cheers, Pete.