Wanted: Doppelganger.
Must be 40ish (but in denial about it), 173cm tall, about 70kg
(and falling). It is essential that you be stunningly handsome, charming and
intelligent. You should probably be male. You must not like games that involve
more than one ball.
Position description:
This position involves lots of time lying around in bed!
Remuneration:
Notwithstanding the fact that suitably handsome and
intelligent applicants will be rare, we still consider that this unique
opportunity to be me for a couple of months is ample reward in itself. Indeed, applications
should include a list of inducements to be paid to us should you wish your expression
of interest to proceed beyond the first stage.
This unique position
also comes with a painfully skinny, annoying, clingy, beeping, burping, farting
and drug pushing companion named polly.
Pre requisites:
Must like dogs. (Oh and chemotherapy… and puking occasionally, and hospital food, and a
lack of sleep).
Apply to:
Applications should be in writing to wherever I happen to be
in the sunny south of France.
Alternatively:
Wanted: Smackhead
looking for a cheap fix.
Must be able to remember that your name is now Pete. Must
be able to resist stealing other patients stuff for duration… oh forget it, I’ll
do it myself.
Cheers, Pete.
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