A Confession

I can't deny it any longer, it's time to fess up. There is another woman in my life.
Everyone, meet Polly, Polly, meet everyone:

Sure she's not pretty, she could definitely use a feed and she is not what you would call huggable. She is also cold, temperamental and very demanding in that shrill voice that often wakes me at night. She definitely lacks motivation, I have to push her all the time and when she does get going she lacks direction and requires constant input from others. Polly is also about as clingy as it is possible to be, she really gets under my skin sometimes.
On the upside, through the haze of hospital sleep I do hear her sing to me sometimes, even if it is something repetitive and annoying like:
the night nurse has squeaky shoes
the night nurse has squeaky shoes
the night nurse has squeaky shoes
the night nurse has squeaky shoes
the night nurse has squeaky shoes
And on and on she goes in her not so dulcet mechanical beeping and farting tones for the next five hours.
She has also supplied me with some truly wicked drugs over the years, let's not talk about the side effects.
Come to think of it, the sooner I get out of this crappy relationship the better!
Cheers, Pete